In Medias Res

In Medias Res


Fernando: Well, may be. Are you sure this is the best idea you have?

Yu Mu: I’m telling you this is the best thing we can do for him. I know it’s not easy.

Fernando: Still, I don’t. I don’t know because you know he’s not the kind of man to be fooling around or pretending to be popular.

Yu Mu: Listen, one this is for sure. We can’t be like the whole day I’m sure I’m not sure. If we don’t do it today, we’ll have to wait til Doomsday to have another chance.

Fernando: At least another year. I don’t want to fuck it up.

Yu Mu: Yeah, but, who can tell that? Can you Mr Futurologist? By the way, have you got his address?

Fernando: His what?

Yu Mu: His address. Where he lives. Where he crashes when he’s got nothing else to do. Where he goes after saying all he has to say. Don’t piss me off you little.

Fernando: I knew I had it somewhere in my pockets. Let me check again. I found it you know, I asked here I looked there until two days ago I saw him with my very own eyes locking the door of a

Yu Mu: Are you sure it was him? Did you have your glasses on? Are you sure it was a house and not the Catholic Church?

Fernando: Why don’t you

Yu Mu: There. I’m done. And when I’m done there’s no way of going back. Do you wanna sign it?

Fernando: Sign it?

Yu Mu: When you write your name with that fancy handwriting of yours.

Fernando: I want to read it first. And what’s that?

Yu Mu: I just, I thought, you know, it’s nice to get another thing as well to make it mo

Fernando: But why yellow? Can’t you be more tactful?

Yu Mu: For God’s sake, who the hell cares about the colour

Fernando: He does. I’ve never seen him in yellow. He’s always always all the time, ten out of ten a hundred percent and above in black and blue.

Yu Mu: Just for a change. The letter’s white though.

Fernando: He’ll burn them both and then he’ll burn us too. What if we just leave it in his

Yu Mu: You don’t know the man, do you? You know how much he hates that. The idea of “anonymous” drives him mad. He wants names, he wants dates, he wants quotes, he he he wants places and facts backed up by other facts and more facts with two hundred names and long words

Fernando: Terms.

Yu Mu: Term this.

Fernando: OK OK OK, we’ll do it your way. You win. I lose. What time does he leave?

Yu Mu: Around five I guess. But, listen, I, I don’t wanna wait until five to knock on his door and. Hell will break loose if we do that.

Fernando: Aha, look who’s the chicken now.

Yu Mu: Fu

Fernando: Meet you by the toilets around four and from

Yu Mu: Do you think other students have done this before?

Fernando: Just by looking at him. And by listening to him. No. we must be the first ones. And the last ones. He’s gonna have a heart attack, I’m sure as heck of that.

Yu Mu: And how should we address him? Doctor? Master? Tutor? My sire?

Fernando: Do you think this is The Lord of the Rings or something?

Yu Mu: I know, I can see the light now

Fernando: He’ll make us both see the light when he crashes our heads against that massive lamp everyone says he has.

Yu Mu: How old d

Fernando: A hundred and twelve probably. I’m sure he was already crawling when the Romans built Adrian’s Wall.

Yu Mu: Wait there man. It was the Normans.

Fernando: How you dare challenge me.

Yu Mu: Actually it wasn’t the Romans, it was the Spice Girls together with this dinosaur all plastic now.
Fernando: You mean

Yu Mu: Cher. Wanna go now and jump from the cliff?

Fernando: I don’t mind.

Yu Mu: That’s just because number one you haven’t got a mind and number two because you couldn’t care less about it. I know it was my idea.

Fernando: Whatever.

Yu Mu: So, we go, knock on his door. When he opens it, we smile, we say hello bla bla bla, talk about the weather, talk about the we don’t mind to interrupt you we know given your reputation sir you must be extremely busy sir and this will only take a couple of seconds sir it’s just a little something sir we found out it was bla bla bla, we do what we have to do and then we vanish into thin air not little by little like the Cheshire cat but we just disappear from his sight in one split second.

Fernando: Ok. Let’s go then.

Yu Mu: I feel sick.

Fernando: We look like a pair of you know trying to pick up their teacher.

Yu Mu: One. Two Three. Here we go. Knock knock knock

Fernando: Perhaps he’s not in.

Hewitt: Yes?

Yu Mu: Um, eh, a…card.

Fernando: Good

Yu Mu: This is for you, sir. Happy Birthday.